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March 27th, 2008


04:19 am - Last entry posted: 8 weeks ago.
The only comfort I've found this week are in the hour long bits of sleep I've grabbed maybe at night or at school. Sleep any other time would be foolish right now.

It's taking far too much caffeine to maintain.. And I haven't even eaten anything all day but a bag of popcorn at lunch and a sandwich a few hours ago. I have had plenty of coffee and tea, though.

And I like a girl. =X
Current Music: Grizzly bear

(5 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

January 31st, 2008


12:06 am
And so it's always times like this that I actually turn to Livejournal. For no reason, really.. Other than I need to talk. Not about anything, really. Actually, nothing at all. I just have a somewhat overall feeling of loneliness at the moment. I went on AIM, which I really haven't done in over a month, I believe, and I talked to Sarah for a while, but the conversation sort of just.. Ended, because I let it end, and so, trying to avoid an awful awkward moment, said I should go. And now I go to Livejournal. It seems like Explosions in the Sky is always playing when I do so. Or at least some other stupid band that "Makes you think". And I always need more sleep than I did in the last entry, yet I'm staying up and writing in LIVEJOURNAL rather than going to sleep.

I know the reason why, as well. I have homework to do, and this is all elaborately linked to my avoidance of doing it.

It seems all I do lately is play Pokemon and watch Miyazaki films. Most of which I fall asleep during when I don't want to, and I end up finishing the next day, when I don't think I'll fall asleep. Sleep is a far too large part of my life, whether it be that I do it too much, or I don't do it enough. I almost never get it right, though. That's just too tough a feat to accomplish, I guess.

Work is boring. It gives me money that I spend on food when I'm out. Other than that, it just takes up days during which I could sleep all day. The fact that I'm actually receiving homework again really doesn't help much.

I was ready to go to sleep at around 11:30 yesterday.
But then I went downstairs and ended up Pokemon battling. I lost. Psh.
I got to sleep around 3 or 3:30.

I don't think I believe in God anymore. It's kind of sad. If there is a God, that Christian God everyone always talks about, he or she won't mind if I don't completely believe in.. him or her. Because I'm a good person, anyway. So.. Fuck that....

I should fucking go.
:/
Why'd I start this anyway?
Current Music: You and Whose Army?-Radiohead

(Feel So Weak And Powerless)

December 2nd, 2007


09:09 pm
My feet are fucking cold.


Cold feet.



Shit.
Current Music: Coffee & TV - Blur

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

October 11th, 2007


10:15 pm
Ah, it's finally cold.

Sorta.

And it's pouring. And lightninginginging.

I went out for a walk. My mom called me an idiot. My dad didn't know I was gone for like a half an hour, and he didn't realize what was going on when he saw me taking all my wet clothes off in the bathroom. He says I'm not allowed to live here if I dye any of my hair pink.

I took a hot bath, my first bath in months.

I'm really pretty in love with life.
Current Music: I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You-Black Kids

(4 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

September 29th, 2007


09:42 pm
I never want to grow up.
Current Music: Nobody Has To Stay-Mirah

(8 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

September 23rd, 2007


11:02 pm
I took a silly personality test.

I never would have dreamed of putting stuff about it on here, but I thought that I found what I already knew about myself to interest me most.

It was a pretty in-depth one. And it had lots of categories and all this fun stuff. Anyway, at the bottom of the description, it gives you bars telling you how you scored in each separate category. I found it funny that I scored a 4 (Four) out of 100 (One-Hundred) in the Masculinity section. While I got a nice 88 out of 100 in the Femininity category. In fact, the only thing I scored lower in than Masculinity was Authoritarianism. Just barely.

Anyway, the thingy is here. That's my whole report. I think it would be fun if you took it, too. And you showed me your whole report thingy. Because it's interesting to me. :/

Okay. Um.


I don't think I'm going to write an entry.


No, I think I am.

cut.Collapse )
Current Music: You Are The Moon-The Hush Sound

(9 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

September 10th, 2007


10:04 pm
I've been getting horribly more frantic about dumb things while at home.

I need more sleep. The fact that I don't get any during or after school anymore isn't a big help. But at least I'm keeping this horrible side of me that needs sleep and gets djfakldjklajda to myself at home.


I just made Grilled Cheeses.
Current Music: Call It Off-Tegan and Sara

(Feel So Weak And Powerless)

September 9th, 2007


12:48 am
When Summer's Over, Will We Dream of Spring?

(Feel So Weak And Powerless)

September 2nd, 2007


10:29 pm
So.

Hi.


Entryyy.

Let's start here.
LJ dash Cut Space text equals djkfajdklakljCollapse )
Current Music: Subterranean Homesick Alien-Radiohead

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

August 24th, 2007


01:13 am
I got my license.



Um.


I got my schedule.

Summer's over.


Um.

I don't have much anything to say.


Summer was amazing. School will be school.

I won't be as confident as I think. Or hope.

I don't know.


I have no idea. No clue.

Curse words.
Current Music: Red Sea-Asobi Seksu

(Feel So Weak And Powerless)

August 4th, 2007


04:15 am
So it's a little past four in the morning, despite what my mother's laptop wants to say, for some reason. Anyway, I wrote this in Cape Cod.. because I'm back now and everything. I hope you'll greatly enjoy it, I think.

I'm kinda tired.Collapse )
I never re-read that. I apologize if it's horrible.
Take care, now.
Current Music: The Forbidden Fruits-Deerhoof

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

July 28th, 2007


12:19 am
I'm going to Cape Cod in five hours.


Anyone who's up should talk to me before I leave.

:)

Kay. Have a good week.
Current Music: Hurricane-Bob Dylan

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

July 10th, 2007


09:31 pm - Shit, I hate music.
I've been in a horrible craze most of today.

I've felt kinda crappy the last few days, too.

I didn't mean for this to be so long. D; Collapse )
Current Music: This Lamb Sells Condos-Final Fantasy

(9 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

July 4th, 2007


06:57 pm
I just went into the kitchen to get my tea, and I started putting sugar and honey inside, same amount as always, although there was less water than I usually put in, because my mom poured it for me, but I was thinking, and I decided it was about time to actually write a real LiveJournal entry.

First off, go down a post or two or so on your friends page and read what I wrote before first, because I'd just imagine it'd be weird to read this and then read that, especially since they were written, or started at least, within about 5 minutes of each other or something.

So, I think it's about time to cut it here, and I'm hoping I'll be able to write something pretty decent right now.

This is actually about 10 or 15 minutes later. I went to watch the grill for my mom and then I got my dinner. AnywayCollapse )
Current Music: Carousels-Beirut (It's on repeat)

(11 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

06:52 pm
I hate people.


Oh, but I love you. (:
Current Music: Carousels-Beirut

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

June 27th, 2007


04:15 am - I think I'm living a dream. Probably.
I am so happy with everything right at now.

Summer has been all I could have dreamt of and more, and it still hasn't set in.

It's all in the fact that I'm not rushed. I'm able to do things at whatever pace I choose; I'm able to do as I wish, for the most part.

If I died tomorrow, I wouldn't care one bit. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. I don't have to worry. I don't have to manage everything into a time. I don't have to plan.

It might just be from the fact that after the end of junior year being so busy and stressful, this is a wonderful relief, and it just seems that great by comparison of what I was just doing, but hell, whatever. It feels amazing.

That's pretty much it. Just thought I'd let everyone know how I'm doing. :)
Current Music: Hoodwink-Anathallo

(5 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

June 12th, 2007


09:33 pm - This Is My Heart.
I almost forgot to put this cut here. I didn't realize I was gonna write a lot.Collapse )
Current Music: What The Snowman Learned About Love-Stars

(9 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

June 9th, 2007


11:37 am
The World is beautiful.

Life is beautiful.

Everything is beautiful.

Everyone is beautiful.







The End.
Current Music: Talk Talk Talk Talk-Love Is All

(3 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

June 7th, 2007


11:50 pm
Today was fairly beautiful.

There were good things.

There were a couple bad things.

But who cares about bad things?

Well, I do. But whatever.



I don't have much to write lately. :/
Current Music: I Luv the Valley OH-Xiu Xiu

(2 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

June 2nd, 2007


05:24 pm
I'm comfortable.
Current Music: Emily-Joanna Newsom

(2 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

May 21st, 2007


01:38 pm
I had to write this story for Keyboarding class, and I wanted to have it at home, so I'm putting it up here so I can have it at home. I had to write off of a selection of beginnings written up for us. I chose the intro "Long, long ago there lived a tyrannosaurus named Tim, who liked just about everything that started with the letter "t". He lived teacups, tennis shoes and traffic lights. He liked tap dancing, too. But there was one "t" thing that Tim couldn't stand..."

Sweeeeet Story.Collapse )
Current Music: Wishbone-Architecture in Helsinki

(5 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

May 14th, 2007


02:45 pm
So, I finally have time to sit here and think.. And write. Boring maybe. I dunno.

I don't know what to put here.Collapse )
Current Music: The Tourist-Radiohead

(10 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

May 13th, 2007


08:09 pm
I'd post a long entry about how I feel about all these different things and how I feel as a whole and what I'm doing and what I've been doing and what I'm thinking about, but I really don't have the time.

And I don't know what to say anymore.


..
Current Music: Lullaby-Grizzly Bear

(2 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

May 7th, 2007


04:39 pm
Fuck.
Current Music: Cecilia And The Silhouette Saloon-Blood Brothers

(3 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

April 21st, 2007


04:54 pm
I haven't updated in a while.

This isn't going to be long.

Vacation's been swell.
I've been playing Fable.
I've been hanging out with people.
I've been enjoying life.


You should all listen to Islands.

And The Unicorns.

And The Fall of Troy.

And Beirut.


Have a nice day. :)
Current Music: I Am Warm and Powerful-Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin

(Feel So Weak And Powerless)

April 4th, 2007


10:13 pm
Gaahhh.Collapse )
Current Music: There's A Coldest Day In Every Year-Cursive

(2 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

March 25th, 2007


04:58 pm
Hm.Collapse )
Current Music: Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying-Belle and Sebastian

(12 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

March 11th, 2007


12:42 pm
Definitely not a very good day.

I'll update again later.

I don't wanna talk about it right now. P:

So disappointed.

EDIT:
Boring Poke-TalkCollapse )
Current Music: Aqua Dementia-Mastodon

(1 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

March 8th, 2007


11:47 pm
I'm beginning to think that around no more than like three people actually read these anymore.Collapse )
Current Music: Two Headed Boy Pt.2-Neutral Milk Hotel

(5 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

February 23rd, 2007


02:13 pm
It's somewhat amazing how one moment.. Or two hours, can make a week of not so great just fade away.

I need to do that more often.

It needs to snow more often.
Current Music: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea-Neutral Milk Hotel

(2 | Feel So Weak And Powerless)

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